100+ Epic Sarcastic Quotes And Sayings That Are So Hilarious

They say laughter is the best medicine, and thankfully, there are many ways to tickle someone's funny bone. Reading or telling some epic sarcastic quotes and sayings is one of the best ways to add levity to someone's day. Using these sarcastic quotes in your remarks eases tension and creates joy amidst the situation.

While sarcasm is a great tool for making cut-throat remarks, it can also be perfectly used to make people laugh. If you're looking to pass a sarcastic remark and make someone laugh, consider sarcastic quotes and sayings that are so hilarious.

Epic sarcastic quotes and sayings to keep you laughing

Epic sarcastic quotes and sayings are your go-to place whenever you want to stretch your laughter muscles with a good hearty laugh. However, not everyone appreciates dark humour.

It's important to pay attention to words and avoid savage sarcasm if you intend to unleash your inner comedian. Here's a hilarious compilation of the funniest sarcastic quotes that will crack anyone's ribs from laughter.

Famous sarcastic sayings for hilarious remarks

They say if you can cleverly blend sarcasm with some humour, then you are intelligent. Using funny, sarcastic sayings is a perfect way of stating your thoughts funnily and less harshly. Here are sarcastic one-liners to get you started:

• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. -A. A. Milne
• People are prisoners of their mobile phones. That's why it's called a "cell phone.- Invajo
• I don't have a welcome mat at my door because I'm not a liar.
• I know family is supposed to come first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast? - Jeff Lindsay.
• The crazy stuff you heard about me is a lie. I'm way worse if you encounter me.
• Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
• My silence doesn't mean I fully agree with you. It's only because your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.
• Having a child makes you a parent. Having two kids, you are a referee. - David Frost.
• Marriage. Because your crazy day doesn't have to end at work.

• How much better would it be if a liar's pants did catch on fire?
• You're everything I want in someone I don't want anymore.
• Shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
• You play the victim. I'll play the disinterested bystander.
• Sometimes, I meet random people and feel bad for their dogs.
• Never underestimate a child's ability to start or get into more trouble anytime, anywhere. - Martin Mull
• What doesn't kill you provides you with a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour.
• My family is temperamental, half temper, half mental.
• Sorry for being late. I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
• Zombies eat brains. You're safe. - John Stewart
• My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me an extra six months. - Walter Matthau
• Never mistake my silence for weakness. Nobody plans a murder out loud.
• Do you think God gets stoned? I think so. Look at the platypus. - Robin Williams
• Having children makes you no more a parent than having a guitar makes you a guitarist. - Michael Levine.
• I'll try being nicer to you if you try being smarter.
• I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
• If you must make a noise, do it quietly. - Oliver Hardy
• I'm not crazy. The voices in my head tell me I am entirely sane.
• I remixed a remix, and it went back to normal. - Mitch Hedberg
• My boss said I intimidate my coworkers. I stared at him until he apologised.
• I just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I will leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
• Once, a guy pulled a knife on me, and I immediately knew he wasn't a professional. The knife had butter. - Rodney Dangerfield
• It's interesting how clean my house gets when I'm pissed off.
• I don't fall asleep. I overthink myself into a coma.
• If karma doesn't hit you first, I gladly will.
• Some are born mad, some acquire madness, and some have madness thrust upon them. - Emilie Autumn
• Instead of saying, "Have a nice day," I'll start saying, "Have the day you deserve." You know, let karma sort things out.
• The older I get, the less surprised I would be if a random body part fell off one day.
• People think I go out of my way to annoy them. Trust me, it's not out of my way at all.

Funny and sarcastic quotes

A funny, sarcastic quote can easily lighten up the mood, no matter how embarrassing or bad a situation is. Blending humour with clever, sarcastic quotes about life is a great way of forming stronger bonds with your opponent as they get to laugh while still understanding the seriousness of the sarcastic remarks. Here are quotes that will make you laugh:

• Right before I die, I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn to make the cremation process a bit more interesting.
• I haven't spoken to my wife in years because I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
• I'm not afraid of death. I don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen
• I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort. - Zach Galifianakis
• I always wanted to be somebody in society, but now I realise I should've been more specific. - Lily Tomlin
• I'm unsure if I was the first man in space or the last dog. - Yuri Gagarin
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey
• I'm sorry. If you were right, I'd agree. - Robin Williams
• I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen
• I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - Steven Wright
• The problem with the rat race is that even if you become the winner, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
• I'm not against half-naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be. - Benny Hill
• When a man realises his father was right, he already has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth.
• I refuse to answer that question because I don't know the answer. - Douglas Adams
• I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire. - Howard Hughes
• I'm not a member of any organised political party. I'm a Democrat. - Will Rogers
• I'm not offended by all the dumb jokes about blondes because I know for a fact that I'm not dumb. And I also know I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
• I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started with twenty-eight years ago. - Will Rogers
• I'm not a genius. I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience. - R. Buckminster Fuller
• I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to get it by not dying. - Woody Allen
• I'm not a chef. But I'm passionate about food, tradition, cooking, and sharing. - Zac Posen
• If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping in the dark with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama
• The best way to predict the future is by creating it. - Peter Drucker
• I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde
• I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure. - Tommy Cooper
• Life's like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put in. - Tom Lehrer
• Television is very educational. Whenever someone turns it on, I read a book in the other room. - Groucho Marx
• The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. - Abraham Lincoln
• I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W.C. Fields
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin
• I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

Sassy, short, sarcastic quotes

Funnily reveal your sassy nature using these sarcastic quotes and sayings. Adding some sass to your hilarious, sarcastic remarks will make anyone laugh; the following quotes will help you achieve that:

• It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has a good taste.
• I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
• They say marriages are unions made in heaven. But so is lightning and thunder. - Clint Eastwood.

• I asked God for a bike, but I thought God doesn't work like that. So, I stole someone's bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips
• I am busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• I don't hate you. You are just the Monday of my life.
• Lead me not into temptation. I know the way.
• Please cancel my subscription because I don't need your issues.
• Find your patience before I lose mine.
• I don't keep secrets. I keep people out of my business.
• I clapped because it was finished, not because I liked it.
• I'd be poor if I had a dollar for every smart thing you said.
• I'm sorry, while you were talking, I was trying to figure out where you got the idea I cared.
• No, you don't have to repeat yourself. I was perfectly ignoring you the first time.
• Silence is golden. The duct tape is silver.
• Just keep talking. I yawn when I'm interested.
• I don't have a short temper. I have a quick reaction to rubbish.
• I'm sorry for that. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
• I'm not a smartass. I'm a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious.
• If sarcasm burned calories, I'd be a supermodel.
• My imaginary friend says that you need a psychologist.
• Well, at least your parents think you're pretty.
• People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
• Why is it called rush hour when nothing moves? - Robin Williams
• Sometimes, I only need what you alone can provide – your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant
• I want to apologise to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.
• Legends don't die. I am a living example.
• You'd be in good shape if you ran as much as your mouth did.
• Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there.
• I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
• You're giving me the silent treatment? Finally.
• If you're waiting for me to complain, you better pack a lunch. It's going to be a while.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person in the world on this.
• The whiskey tastes like I'm about to tell you how I feel.
• I'm not crazy. My reality is just different from yours. - Lewis Carroll

Final word

While sarcasm is a great tool for making cut-throat remarks, it can also be perfectly used to make people laugh. It's easier to use epic sarcastic quotes in everyday context than savage sarcasm, as hilarious, sarcastic quotes are less likely to offend people.

Tuko.co.ke shared an article about good evening blessings, images, messages, and quotes. Many people get to have time off work in the evening. This is when one needs to relax and reflect on the next day.

Wishing someone a good evening blessing message is the best way to wind down from a stressful day. Good evening blessings, images, messages, and quotes may bring inner calm.